dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
