I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
