david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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