Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
