I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
