Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Panties = found
Randomize