direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
