remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
