Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
