I love having hate sex.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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