i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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