Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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