My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
