yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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