I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
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What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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