apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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