Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
