A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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