guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
