3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
