Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
