Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize