dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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