I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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