i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
