She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
