I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
