I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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