Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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