He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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