He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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