So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
