And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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