Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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