I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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