weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
