Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
