even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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