Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
