your parents love me but you hate me
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
