Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
