youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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