I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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