My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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