drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
