just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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