In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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