Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
