I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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