For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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