everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
