Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
