i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
