do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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