I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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