Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
