? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
PANTIES FOUND
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